Since I first started my blog back in 2014 I have never left it more than 2 weeks between writing blog posts and I haven't wrote on here since April 24th which is almost a month now. This is not like me at all!
Usually if it gets to the 2 week mark I start to get anxious, like I have a duty and HAVE to do it even if I don't feel like it. All of us bloggers get writers block and need a break but that's not what has happened and why I haven't been around.
So I thought I'd write a quick blog post just to explain myself and apologise for my lack of content.
I'll try and keep it short and sweet.
(I'm inserting this old image so that I have a photo on my blog layout and not just a blank space, that is all haha thanks :') )
There are a few reasons I have been quiet but one of my main ones is stress. We all know I am an anxious person but I rarely suffer with extreme stress or depression but the past month I have had a lot going on (I'll get onto that) and so I kind of needed to focus on myself a little and get things sorted. I've been very stressed and at times very sad. I've learnt recently that it is ok to take a break sometimes and I'm really glad I have done.
One of the reasons I've been stressed is just purely being so busy. I've been doing a lot of overtime at work so that doesn't help but I chose to do that overtime as we have to save as much money as we can this year with the wedding and saving for a mortgage, so that's my own fault.
Wedding planning has been so much fun but it does have it's stressful parts, lots of phone calls and emailing around. I'm making our own wedding invitations too so that has taken up A LOT of my spare time. WHY I decided to do that, god knows?! But it's like a little side project for me. I wanted to do it all myself as it gives me something to focus on and be proud of myself for.
With those two things combined that already really restricted how much blogging I could get done.
Another reason I have been stressed is medical related issues. I've been back and forth having tests at the hospital since November 2016 and all I wanted to know was why I'm so tired, why I can't gain weight and if I can have children or not.
It has been one long paper trail and a LOT of waiting for appointments but I'm not the type to kick up a fuss as I understand the NHS is under a lot of strain and so I like to just be a patient patient.
After god knows how many blood tests I finally had my results last month, some good, some bad.
I was being tested for a thyroid disease, a testosterone problem, diabetes, coeliacs disease, hypoprolactinemia, poly-cystic ovaries, fibroids, cervical cancer, pancreatitis, pancreatic cancer, a brain tumour and so as you can imagine I was incredibly anxious and having that on top of my anxiety was just too much.
Luckily the only thing that came back positive was that I had hypoprolactinemia which is just high prolactin levels and that can be caused by stress which it is obviously is. The levels are starting to come down now which means it's not a brain tumour so it was like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I'm feeling much less stressed now.
The bad news is that I have endometriosis. I'm not ovulating at all and so right now it is impossible for me to get pregnant. I have been offered surgery which will give me a 50% chance but they have recommended I go on the pill to gain some weight first which I'm going to do, I don't mind waiting a little longer if it means my baby will be healthier.
So it's not that I can't get pregnant in the future, but it's just not certain and not possible right now. This was truly heartbreaking as all I've ever dreamed of is being a mum. No career ambitions, just wanted a family so it really did affect me. I've been very down since my bad news but it's not the end of the world. IVF is a possibility and also fostering and adoption which Elliot and I are seriously considering regardless of if we can have children or not.
So that is what is going on with me medically. Finally it's all getting sorted and I am feeling much better. I've had a cold about 7 times since the new year but other than having a shitty immune system, I'm on my way up.
I also desperately needed and still need an internet detox. I'm not going to be posting as much as I did. I will eventually, but right now I've still got wedding planning to do and lots of work so I will have to reduce my amount of blog posts.
However, I am hoping to make them much more interesting and hope to improve my content for you all.
Quality not quantity.
I've found that recently all I seem to do is brand collaborations, product reviews and handing out discount codes. I really enjoy those types of posts but I understand it's not for everyone and I'd quite like to go back to my old style of writing where I just give out fashion advice, show you my outfits and little tutorials here and there.
And so I am putting a stop to brand collabs for now unless something really exciting is offered to me. No more product reviews for a while and I'm just going to focus on fun stuff.
Something else I am giving up on is Instagram. People might think I'm crazy as that is my biggest platform but I have just lost the love for it at the moment. I can never get good engagement because of the stupid algorithm they introduced a while back. So many bloggers are suffering from this and it's annoying because it seems like Instagram are forcing businesses to pay to be seen with sponsored posts, that is the only way you're guaranteed to be seen on everyone's news feeds and I think that's awful. If you follow someone it's obviously because you want to see their content so I don't think Instagram should decide who you do and don't see. I refuse to buy publicity and to be honest I never have had a great deal of it from Instagram anyway.
A lot of accounts that follow me are inactive, or new accounts that people have give up on, there are bots that have wormed their way in which never looks good for bloggers and I don't want to be a part of it anymore. It's so frustrating!
I'm going to finish up all my current brand collabs I have going but then I am planning to deactivate Instagram for a little while until I find the love and patience again. I'm just not enjoying it, it's a chore, I only use it when I have too and there's a lot of competition between people. I don't get involved with all that but I hate seeing it. Everyone wants to better than the next person and it's sad so I'm going to stick to Facebook, Snapchat and Bloglovin where I do get more engagement and views.
On Instagram,. nobody actually reads the captions and clicks the links so it's kind of a waste of time for me. Hope you can all understand my decisions! So if I go missing, I haven't blocked you, I'm just having a break.
I THINK that's it. I might be quiet again over the next few weeks but I promise I will get back on track. I'm only human and sometimes we need to take a step back and just breathe.
Hope you are all very very well and understand!
All the love,
If you want to read any more of my blog posts just click Blog Archive :)